You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know

I’ve been so excited to write this entry because it’s one of the themes that’s shaped my journey the most lately. So, to put it frankly, I have a lot of blind spots. And they’re sometimes big, glaring ones. I used to think that seeing the good in everyone and everything was my strength, my special skill. But maybe that’s just part of growing up: realizing that being open-hearted is powerful, but it’s even more impactful when it comes with a bit of wisdom about who gets to share in that love.

I truly believe everyone has unlimited potential for growth. It’s not about being shaped by the circumstances we were born into, but rather about how we choose to view life—whether as something fixed or as a malleable journey with endless possibilities for change.

As a kid, my life was about how many people my heart could collect, how many experiences it could throw itself into, and how many chances it was capable of giving. But as I stepped into adulthood (yes, I’m only two years in, but that counts!), I realized that there’s a shift: now, it’s about protecting this heart, qualifying who and what it opens up to.

My challenge? 

Learning to make that distinction without closing myself off. To get here, I’ve had to let love go and redefine what it means to me. I’ve had to understand that it’s not just about seeing the good in others; it’s about believing that I, too, deserve to be surrounded by that good.

Hold on, let me say that again—believing that I, too, deserve to be surrounded by that good.

Now, it’s about quality over quantity—learning to love wisely, like sipping a martini instead of downing it!

One of the hardest parts? 

Accepting that sometimes, people I trusted or held close simply weren’t right for me. It’s almost like this rainy moment hits, the clouds pour over everything, and suddenly, I can see clearly. And while I’m trying to make sense of how I missed the signs, it hits me that people close to me could see the storm brewing long before I could.

My friend—the closest thing I have to a real-life Miranda—said it best: “Don’t beat yourself up, Hudson. You don’t know what you don’t know.”

These words have become my mantra. Have you ever looked back at a relationship or situation and wondered how you missed all the signs? The truth is, it’s easy to feel disappointed in ourselves for not catching on sooner, but we only see things when we’re ready.

Sometimes, I think the universe has a gentle way of revealing truths when we’re ready to hold them. I’m still learning to give myself grace and recognize that seeing the truth late is still seeing the truth.

As I sat down to write this blog, I reached for what I now call my magic book. This book—101 Quotes That Will Change Your Life—found me one day when I was standing in a store, lost in thought about whether or not I should go study abroad. Opening it to a random page, the quote leaped out at me:

“If you ever get the chance, go alone, walk alone, travel alone, live alone, dance alone just for a while—learn who you are when the world isn’t demanding you be one way or another.”

Magic, right? That quote sealed it for me; next semester, I’ll be dancing in Barcelona, embracing every unknown as a gift to figure out who I am when it’s just me.

But it didn’t stop there. As I started writing this entry, I opened the book again, and it delivered another perfect quote:

“Life is not a series of problems to be solved; it’s a journey you should be fascinated by.”

In that moment, something shifted. I realized I don’t need to “solve” every person or situation that crosses my path. I don’t have to force answers or clarity. Instead, I can lean into curiosity—about others, about myself, and about the lessons I’m learning as I figure out how to protect my heart.

This whole fascination-over-solution mindset has already changed the way I approach things. It’s lighter, freer, and, honestly, way more fun. Life doesn’t have to be this big mystery to solve—it can just be an adventure to get completely lost in.

Do you have parts of your life where you’re holding on a little too tightly, desperate for answers? 

Maybe it’s in love, school, work, friendships—or even just in your expectations of yourself. I’m learning to loosen my grip on needing all the answers, allowing myself to be fascinated instead of frustrated. There’s a freedom in knowing I can just…not know, and that’s okay.

Sometimes, I think the best gift we can give ourselves is permission to be a beginner—to wander through our lives without a map, letting curiosity lead the way.

Maybe the best answer to “Why didn’t I see it coming?” is “Because you weren’t supposed to.” There’s something liberating about that.

Imagine if we all just let ourselves be a little lost, a little unscripted, a little more okay with the mystery of it all.

So here’s to all of us, moving forward, blind spots and all. Here’s to uncovering that the mysteries we haven’t yet figured out may just be the most captivating, transformative parts of the journey.

May the unknown surprise us, teach us, and keep us endlessly curious.

Holy shit, I’m moving to Spain in January!